8 months

Jasper golf course wild elk and Canada geese 018

Michael was the realest of the real. He would have been completely undaunted by the things that cause me to sputter and puff. I had a strong feeling of him going out to the back tonight with Selkie… he’d just want me to stop whining and put one foot in front of the other and get the stuff I want to sell sold. I have hoped for someone to help me and its just not helping that what I have tried has not worked out. I have to try differently. Michael wouldn’t want me to just give things away. He really cared about the value of things both as a buyer and as a seller. My attitude would really have bugged him and somewhere in the fabric of the universe I recognize that echo of disapproval and need to move on.

Today one bad thing happened– Selkie got a fox tail in her throat. I took her to the vet twice but since she wasn’t symptomatic I talked myself out of it. She made herself throw up right after it happened and I thought she was ok then when I came home later she coughed a few times and I knew it was still there but when I took her back in tonight there was a two hour wait. Tomorrow I’ll have to face up to that huge expense… better than the worry. Somebody needs to create a non-toxic foxtail tenderizer.

One good thing happened– I bought my 30 day rail pass on Amtrak to circle the US in August with eight stops! I am excited about the unknown adventure of that. It seemed like it would be a huge hassle but the woman on the phone helped me immensely. Thank goodness for people who are helpful!

The best thing these last few days has been having Orien home. Her presence just completely sways me away from lost or alone feelings I might have. Inhabiting my life has felt really good these last two days, despite my foibles with vehicles and Selkie’s health. Minnesota 033Nederland 019

I love looking at my pictures of him– especially from when he was healthy.

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