Friday night

‘Think I’ll write out of nothing pressing to do. I’m on the porch, with a low sun and it is comfortable with plenty of spring still left to enjoy. The Friday night car races are loud, as always. I have some little starts to plant out and I will do that soon.

I’ve filled my dance card as much as I really want to. Tonight I could go down to hear Ha’Penny Bridge play in the Downtown Plaza Park but I dun want to. No one but me and Selkie… I took her to the DeGarmo Park dog park today. It is right next to the freeway and seemed really boring. She couldn’t even get into going after her ball. The other dogs and people she stayed relatively away from… How odd we all are. She’s had so many problems with foxtails here on the land I thought it was worth trying but I doubt we will go back.

It’s the 40th anniversary of the fall of Saigon and the end of the Vietnam war. I can’t help but think that Michael’s cancer was triggered by Agent Orange. Over 58 thousand Americans killed and many many more Indochinese… and so many more since as a result of war trauma and illness caused by the war. For what? I’m so sorry for all of it and feel like the nation should just come to a halt to recognize the anniversary plus the 70th since the end of Nazi Germany.

I feel the space of the non-war space around me but the roar of the racecars seems like the veneer of ignoring. In this evening quiet (otherwise) with only the sounds of birds… I realize how the past and the present blend in us. Time and space of my own life anyway. I can remember sobbing about the war when I was 18 as if it was yesterday. I remember the room and the heaviness of knowing it was wrong was as accurate and painful as it is today.

M in uniform

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