My life is simple but over-whelming to me. I tried to put gas in the Suzuki this morning (since my biodiesel car is still not running after it’s long run around the deserts,) but could not find the lever for the little door. I’m getting rid of the hot tub and offered it for free on Craig’s List only to get over 20 calls and emails… causing me to retreat in panic until a friend stepped forward to say he’d like to have it. One thing I do feel good about is getting Selkie groomed prior to her vet appointment today… we have 12 acres of foxtails and she popped up with two abscesses in her front feet in 24 hours even though I check her daily.
Time is pulling away from my ability to write about it… to pull out the chunks that were important to me.
I wanted to mention more about my home coming without sounding too whiny, a little whiny is entirely appropriate, I think. I’d had a rat in the house when I left. I handed the problem over to my land partners with a very strong admonition– if you don’t have time or don’t want to solve the problem please hire someone. The short of the long is that I came home to stench, droppings… an uninhabitable mess so I stayed in my tent out front for four days, hired friends to help me and eventually regained a semblance of home. (I wrote about that last time.) The problem isn’t completely solved– I have to hire someone to go into the crawl space under the house to do more work but the short term worst of it is over for now thanks to Angela, Caroline, Zenon and Bob. We went round about this and about our barn repairs and I suppose that is more than I should inflict on blog readers… again the short form– things are much more expensive than we thought ahead about and now there is an element of being trapped by the need to finish what we started BUT I don’t want to be trapped by repayments for the rest of my life for a project I will probably use very little. It’s stressful, seems like an intractable problem and has caused strain among us. (I know M and I would be in argument about this too as we often did not see things the same way in regards to land matters.)
Yesterday I was still at the effect of my own bad mood about these two issues but the shift started with celebrating my fine friend Laurel’s birthday… She has quit producing the Peace and Justice show but on Friday we co-hosted and managed to raise 1120$ for our community radio station which felt like a wonderful anchoring victory for locally produced public affairs programming. I just love her intelligence and spunk.
Last night I tented at Beale with the other Occupy Beale folks. It was great to see Michael’s olive tree with gladiolas and geranium planted around it now. So sweet!
It was also sweet to be joined by Kathy Kelly and Brian Terrell from Voices for Creative Non-violence. Kathy was just released from three months in prison for drone protest and Bryan spent six months in prison last year for direct action. This was my third federal trespass charge since Michael’s death. (The 27th was month 7’s anniversary…) The reading of the names of the children killed by drones… a list that seemed to go on and on and on just had me sobbing this morning. The ONLY way to deal with this is by protesting the drone killings and putting the whole rotten, illegal and immoral US terrorism on trial. I have nothing to lose in any of this and can fill a jail cell as well as the next woman. Now is the only time that matters… if we wait and let this technology wash over all the countries and corporations of the world the genie won’t fit back into the bottle and really I foresee it as bad as the nuclear arms race.
(Sorry the photos seem to be out of control and out of sequence. Peace to you.)