Five months. Five years. Soon M will be younger than me. I’m headed out Monday to Creech AFB for drone protest but will hang around Arizona and Utah til his birthday.
The loss has a low tone.. a tooth ache you forget when you stay active but that no dentist can treat. It just sort of drones on in the background of life. None of it seems right or makes any sense but all of it demands absolute fealty. I’m moving through this beautiful spring, getting ready to leave for six weeks with some trepidation. I don’t seem to be able to organize my thoughts very well and the confusion bothers me. I keep thinking the discipline and simplicity of the road life will shake me out of my cobwebs but it could actually feel more disconcerting. I’ll have to see. I’m committed and almost ready… a certain Ms. Selkie Pike needs a bath, the house needs a sweeping and I have to cram a few more things into the car. Nothing really holds me here except the comfort of my bed and the warmth of my home.
Creech will be intense. I’ll try to post from there. Folks did a soft blockade at Beale the other day… our monthly drone protest. The anger of the base employees trying to get to their jobs at the business of war frightens me. I don’t know what will stop the insanity of this Endless War scenario but ending the drone killings and the drone program are what must be done so I hang in with all the good activists in hopes of making an impact. Life is one big experiment and I throw my lot in with the peace makers, organizers and cultural creatives in hopes of survival beyond my own generation.
Even if sometimes we lose. Usually we lose. But who knows how it would have been had we not tried.